Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Parents
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are used to helping
children
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learn how to make good
decisions
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by providing advice and
supporting
Replace the word
support

The word supporting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to them. When people are faced with the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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we should permit them to make their own choices on everyday matters, there is divergence. On the one side, teenage brains aren't mature enough to make their own
decisions
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

means that they are likely to make
decisions
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based on emotion rather than rationality. Without appropriate guidance and supervision from
parents
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, making some
decisions
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independently may be harmful to them as they put personal needs
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. As a society that should put emphasis on cooperation,
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun self-centeredness in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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self-centeredness can be detrimental. The prerequisite of empowerment must be the show for understanding
about
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the rules of interpersonal interaction. If
children
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want more authority over their lives, they need to show that they can act a certain way. The best way is for
parents
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to guide the teen to live appropriately
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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so that
children
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will not make serious
mistakes
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at the time they are allowed to explore by themselves. On the other side,
children
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need to learn how the world works and they need to make their own
mistakes
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will set them up for life and make them more responsible. Many people believe that the brain is not fully competent until about the age of 20, but grasping the skills in personal autonomy requires a continuous process, which should begin as early as possible. Bodily autonomy is an ideal start and applies to lots of things, from the choices of food and clothes to tattoos and piercings. The list includes all the items that need to be taken
Correct your spelling
into consideration
Correct your spelling
into consideration

If you don’t want intoconsideration to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

intoconsideration
Correct your spelling
into consideration
but will not cause dire consequences. Even though a teenager will likely make
mistakes
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

along their path to adulthood, they still can learn something about trust, freedom, responsibility and the skills to correct
mistakes
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. Personally, I prefer limited empowerment under effective supervision.
Certainly
Add a comma
,Certainly

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Certainly. Consider adding a comma.

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some decision-making should be made by the teens, but all
parents
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have a legal obligation to take care of their
children
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when they realize the wrong choices
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe

The word may be seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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not in the best interest of their
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. So, the
next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

generation will have plenty of time to realize the consequences of their actions and will have chances to learn from their
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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