IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #opportunity #show #world #qualities #nation #expense
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International games always connect the communities together.Some crowds believe that international sporting activities are the ideal opportunity to show the world the characters of the hosting nation. Others believe that these activities are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. I agree that nations can show their element to the community by hosting international games like "OLIMPIC" , the world cup etc... .The following paragraph highlights my opinion with relevant examples.
Firstly
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, global games connect &
contrast
Correct word choice
and contrast
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 various communities in one place.a lot of
family
Change to a plural noun
families
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 travel to those countries to participate in events or watch them. That's the main effect on the economy & local society can get more working opportunities.
However
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,
hosted
Wrong verb form
the host
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 country
wanna
Wrong verb form
wants to
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 execute a good range of facilities and hospitality services to travellers. That's an ideal opportunity to freely advertise the character of the residents and it increases tourist attraction.
For instance
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, "FIFA" was held in Qatar
last
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 month. It causes to increase
100
Change preposition
of 100
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%
public
Change preposition
in public
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 attraction in that country.
Secondly
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,hosting countries execute some programs
such
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 as road development projects, and building construction projects and allow projects related to the activities and the government should enhance their rules and regulations because they have to manage a large number of people.
Moreover
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,That's the main effect of the qualities of the state and they can provide new facilities to both local and international crowds.Satisfaction is the most effective method for spreading a good image to the world.
For example
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,
according to
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 recent research conducted by the
university
Capitalize word
University
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 of Colombo that they said most international sports events are hosted in countries developed as rich states because of tourist satisfaction.
To sum up
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 , international events expand our expenses but the advantages are more than the disadvantages. It shows the qualities of states.
Submitted by nisalnadeeshana on

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coherence cohesion
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