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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the past employees worked for small businesses but now many are working for large businesses. What are the advantages and dis advantages of this trend ?

#employees #businesses #dis #trend
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In today's era, a large number of workers have changed their minds to
work
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 for big companies. They are attracted to these trends for getting more financial benefits than a smaller company.
Although
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employees
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 of a big organization have learning limits and can
work
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 in only one specialized department, they like to
work
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 for availing good salary and
work
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 environment. I will discuss the amenities and difficulties of
this
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 trend in detail. On the one hand,
employees
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 of large
businesses
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 have many
facilities
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such
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 as a handsome salary, a good
work
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 environment, a place of long years of
work
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, transport
facilities
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, medical
facilities
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 and many others. They
work
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 in one specialized department where
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also
Correct pronoun usage
there also
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 remain more colleagues . So their workload is less for helping other colleagues in the same section.
Besides
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 most people are seeking now a flexible working place where responsibilities are shared by many. Another reason for working with big business is to get opportunities long period of time.
Moreover
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, these business has more buyer and a good reputation in the present market.
As a result
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,
employees
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 are hoping to be a member of big business and they feel proud to give an introduction to others about them.
On the other hand
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,
employees
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 of big
businesses
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 cannot get the opportunity to learn widely. They have to spend more time learning and cannot
take
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make
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 decisions independently. They
work
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 with a team and decision comes from the team leader.
Due to
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 hard rules and regulations, they cannot gather more knowledge as quickly. In conclusion,
employees
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 of both
businesses
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 have
facilities
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 and difficulties.
Employees
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 of big
businesses
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 get opportunities like good salaries and other social benefits but have limitations for learning more widely than
employees
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 of smaller
businesses
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.
Submitted by rajonbd07 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and data to support the points and make the arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, but some transitions could be improved to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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