IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy food and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

feed
Replace the word
Food
show examples
 is needed
things
Check wording
apply
show examples
to survive in
this
Linking Words
 world. These days in
cuisine
Use synonyms
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are many
variety
Fix the agreement mistake
varieties
show examples
 to eat. Some individual believes that
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 modern
society's Folk
Use the right word
society folk
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
eaten
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 unhealthy foods. Others think that the way they should
be improved
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their eating habit.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both
preceptions
Use the right word
perceptions
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
but my point of view will be
elaborate
Replace the word
elaborated
show examples
 in
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
. To
Commence
Fix capitalization
commence
show examples
 with the first
notion
Punctuation problem
notion,
show examples
 why
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 are eating unhealthy
Use synonyms
foodstuff
Check wording
food
show examples
.
first
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 reason is globalisation.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 are many foreign
Use synonyms
cuisine
Fix the agreement mistake
cuisines
show examples
which is
Wrong verb form
that are being
show examples
sale
Replace the word
sold
show examples
 in the
Use synonyms
foodstuff
Check wording
food
show examples
 market .
community
Correct article usage
The community
show examples
 are trying to explore new feed. When they eat foreign
cuisine
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they eat that things in their daily routine.
For instance
Linking Words
:
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 India, there are many foreign
Use synonyms
foodstuff
Fix the agreement mistake
foodstuffs
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 or
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
 as Italian, Chinese , Korean
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
 . One Indian bread blogger
reserved
Verb problem
revealed
show examples
 that
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
 in India
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
 to eat foreign
rather
Check wording
food rather
show examples
 than
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 local
Use synonyms
foodstuff
Check wording
food
show examples
. On the other
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 are saying
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 should
be changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
this
Linking Words
 habit.
do
Fix capitalization
Do
show examples
 not eat foreign
cuisine
Use synonyms
.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 believe that foreign meat is not good for
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 since different environment allows
Correct article usage
the
show examples
body to eat different meat.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 instance: kiwi fruit is available everywhere
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
,where kiwi grows
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
there
Use the right word
the
show examples
 society can eat . It is good for them since
this
Linking Words
 fruit is local
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them .
Hence
Linking Words
, individuals believe that
eating
Correct pronoun usage
their eating
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 should be changed. In conclusion,it is good that nowadays folk are trying to eat foreign
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
. In my opinion,local fare is good for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 population.
All the
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 public should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
try to stay healthy. If
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 should keep
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
 life . They should be
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 good feed.

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structure
Plan what you want to say before you write. Make a map for ideas in order.
content
Put your main point in the first part. Say what you will say and then say it.
content
Use one idea at a time. Use facts that fit the point.
language
Check grammar and spelling so a reader can get the sense you want.
overall
The essay shows you have a view and an end that says what you think.
content
There are real examples given, like India and foreign food.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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