Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Smartphones

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have become an integral part of every

Correct your spelling

individual's

indivual's

Correct your spelling

individual's

If you don’t want indivual to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

daily life. Children nowadays are easily attracted

towards

Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

technology, particularly

smartphones

Use synonyms

because of the influence they have around them. Due to digital transformation,

smartphones

Use synonyms

have become

Correct your spelling

affordable

afforadable

Correct your spelling

affordable

If you don’t want afforadable to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and easily accessible.

Correct your spelling

Children's

Children

Childrens

Correct your spelling

Children

If you don’t want Childrens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

often try to mirror their parents and want to do everything that

Correct your spelling

their

thier

Correct your spelling

their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

parents do which includes spending time on

smartphones

Use synonyms

. They

also

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

find joy in playing games which cause an addiction

dsurve007Sat Sep 17 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

72 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?
In the modern world, they have produced a huge number of TV movies or episodes from overseas for decades. This tendency made the local cinema industry decline as more people chose to watch foreign films than ever. The essay will expound on the reasons and supply possible solutions to address them.
6
band
Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion
There has been ongoing debate about school uniforms over recent years. Some people argue that it is safer to wear them for students. And it force children to focus on their studies instead of their clothes. Others argue that school uniforms are the right to express children's personalities. And it has no positive effect on students. In my opinion, I totally agree that uniforms are essential for several reasons. This essay will discuss both sides and explain my view.
7.5
band
You are applying for a job. As well as attaching a CV, you need to write a cover letter explaining your reasons for choosing this particular job at this particular company, and why you would be a good hire. Things to include are: – Possible qualifications or reasons for you to be hired – Your energy and enthusiasm for the job – Your past experience in a similar position.
I am writing to express my interest in the software developer position that is currently listed on your company's website.
6.5
band
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Recently, the number of diseases that impact children has skyrocketed. One good thing is, a lot of companies in the world found the vaccine for these diseases. However, there was a continuous debate about whether immunization should be made compulsory, or optional. In this essay, I will discuss my own experience about why vaccination should be made compulsory.
8
band
Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that our lives were more fulfilling when technology was less complex. I completely disagree with this statement and believe that technology has made life much better because smartphones save us time and the internet has improved education.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In recent years, people watch more movies from overseas. What are the reasons for this? Should the government give financial support to local cinema to produce local films?

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?