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Writing Samples
Band 5

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #form #discipline
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In 2002 one
of
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apply
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the Malaysia television has
show
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shown
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 that some
parents
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 believe that smacking their
children
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 is the best part of making their
children
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 more discipline. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will explain why
does
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apply
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punishment is not the right way to teach
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Correct article usage
the behavior
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behavior
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behaviour
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 of
children
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. Center for public mental health university of Gajah Mada
child’s
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child
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 Psychological has
show
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shown
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 that young
children
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 have difficulty speaking and have
bad
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a bad
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 temper because
trauma
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the trauma
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 of their childhood.
Therefore
Linking Words
 young
children
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 get insomnia, insecure and always feel unsafe. Some
parents
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 think slapping is
a
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the
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 best way to get
children
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 more discipline, but the fact is little
children
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 are too young to understand why their
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behavior
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behaviour
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 is wrong and they will
have
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apply
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fear
on
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of
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 repeating
such
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 bad
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behavior
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behaviour
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 and wouldn’t learn from it. Every
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parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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 want the best for their
children
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.
However
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, being
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parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
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 is never an
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easy
essay
esay
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easy
 task. Many
parents
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 still believe traditional method like
a
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apply
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smacking,
a
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apply
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punishment,
a
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apply
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beating or
a slapping
Correct the article-noun agreement
slapping children
a slapping child
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children
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is make
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makes
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 more discipline and make cultivate good habits. But the
true
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truth
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 is that
traditional
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the traditional
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 method is not a solution, nothing but it
make
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makes
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 their problem worse . is true that
children
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 need to have boundaries, but trying to use
this
Linking Words
 traditional method has to do nothing with teaching a child proper
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behavior
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behaviour
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. To conclude, little
children
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 are too young to get
Add an article
the smacking
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smacking
Wrong verb form
smacked
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of
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for
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 their
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, they didn’t deserve smacking, beating or slapping. Raising them with love because
children
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 learn a lot by watching their
parents
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.
Parents
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 become good role models for their
children
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 and Parenting does not only affect our
children
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, but it affects our maturity as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 smacking
children
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 must be forbidden.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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