Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

Many individuals believe that playing outside is more beneficial for youngsters' advancement than playing video games.To strongly agree with the view owing to the fact that outward activities socialize teenagers, on contrary, video games are sources of youngsters' health issues.

This

essay will explain the details of my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, outdoor activities help children interact with others.

In other words

, these actions improve social behaviour and physical activities as they lead to outer sports.

For instance

, recent research carried out by a popular news channel shows that playing football develops young people's relationships with family, friends and teachers.

Thus

, a plethora of them become successful in school, universities, and society.

On the other hand

, electronic games are medical problem sources.Because of long-hour of gaming,

this

play increases stress, anxiety , obesity and eye problems.To illustrate, as per a survey conducted independently, 60 per cent of university fat students do indoor gaming for more than 3 hours.

Therefore

this

is a concern for parents and communities in general.

Furthermore

this

is the overriding reason for stressed kids throughout the world. In conclusion,indeed, outdoor playing is more beneficial to young individuals' relationships with family and society than computer game playing.

Hence

, I am deeply convinced by the statement and recommend the ruling power find a way to regulate the use of electronic sports.

Submitted by soumya.khatua on Sun Sep 18 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little difference to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but for others it does not improve mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is sometimes said that countries should produce all the food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the government of a country should pay for health care and education of its citizens. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.