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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The research above outlines the distribution of
population
Use synonyms
 age
groups
Use synonyms
 in Italy and Yemen in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2000
as well as
Linking Words
 a prediction
how
Change preposition
of how
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 the situation will change by 2050.
Researches
Correct your spelling
Researchers
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 divide the
population
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
into
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 3
groups
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: 0-14 years old(hereafter y.o.), 15-59 y.o., 60+ y.o. The shares or age
groups
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 vary a lot between the countries in the
study
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 and there are no obvious similarities, so let me walk you
through
Correct pronoun usage
themthrough
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. At the beginning of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the study
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study
Add a comma
,study
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 there is almost a parity between
age
Correct article usage
the age
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groups
Use synonyms
 of 15-59 y.o. gnd 0-14 y.o. (46.3% and 50.1% respectively) and it changes with a drop to 37.0% for the latter group by 2050. The 60+ y.o. group is expected to steadily grow
by
Change preposition
apply
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from 3.6% to 5.7% over the 50 years period of
study
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. Italy starts the
study
Use synonyms
 with
14.3
Correct article usage
a 14.3
show examples
% share of 0-14 y.o., 61.6% of 15-59 y.o. and 24.1% of 60+ y.o. The research outlines a prediction that
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 of Ityle will get older by 2050 and end up with over 40% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 being 60+ years old. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 there will
also
Linking Words
 be a little drop in the share of the younger
population
Use synonyms
 (0-14 y.o.) to the point of 11.5%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, groups, study with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "outlines" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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