People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs

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It is often argued that people with a consistent profession at first and still in its path are more pleased in life than those who repeatedly change jobs. I strongly agree with

this

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statement because it is more appealing to have a steady salary;

thus

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, the person can feel more secure in his financial

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

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. With regard to the decision on a career for the first time, it will give you a strong foundation for fulfilling daily needs.

Furthermore

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, a stable wage allows one to manage the budget to stay afloat and save more.

Consequently

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, your life will remain more secure and diminish stress regarding lack of funding.

For instance

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, it is easier for an employee to plan financially when the primary compensation is fixed and allows them to allocate some savings funds consistently.

Moreover

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, the potential rise in salary makes the professional more financially secure.

Thus

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this

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positive feeling will support workplace performance and open the chance for promotion and higher earnings.

In addition

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, it can give a guarantee in retirement budget planning.

Hence

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, financial security will result in a satisfying life. It can be seen in my parent's experience; they saved at least 10% of their monthly salary when they worked. By the time they are retired, they can stay afloat from their saving and avoid their children being sandwich generation.

To sum up

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although

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changing jobs frequently for some people is more challenging and satisfies them, I am confident that sticking to one career will fulfil you more because of a steady pay guarantee and secure your finances.

Submitted by afirahma on Mon Sep 19 2022

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task response

Task response: The essay provides a clear opinion but lacks depth and development. It would benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure and presents ideas in a somewhat organized manner. It would benefit from stronger connections between ideas and more cohesive linking devices.

lexical resource

Lexical resource: The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choices and awkward phrasing. Aim for more accuracy and clarity in expression.

grammatical range

Grammatical range: The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are some errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

career path
job satisfaction
professional goals
climb the career ladder
develop expertise
long-term commitment
financial security
varied experiences
prevent monotony
job security
career progression
personal preferences
industry dynamics

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People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool. To what extent do you agree with this?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and have no place in the modern world. Others feel that zoos still serve a useful purpose. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.