IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary forgovernments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disgaree with this opinion ?

#countries #people #health #food #forgovernments #tax #disgaree
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Especially, those living
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in
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undevoloped
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undeveloped
developed
 countries and developing countries tend to consume
Correct your spelling
junk
show examples
jank
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junk
show examples
food
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to
Replace the word
too
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 much.
Those
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That
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 condition causes
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extreme
extrem
Correct article usage
an extrem
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 number of problem that we do not imagine. To me, governments are supposed to take action about
this
Linking Words
 problem. By raising
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
show examples
of
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on
show examples
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
, consumers are able to
direckt
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direct
Correct your spelling
healthy
healty
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healthy
food
Use synonyms
 and so
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
 health
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 would decrease.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
governments
government
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 get extra income from
junk
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
food's
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food
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
taxs
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tax
. Nowadays,
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majority
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the majorty
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majorty
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majority
 of people encounter economic crises in their daily life. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time rolls,
on
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem spread all around to world.
Economist
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Economists
show examples
 indicate that the selling of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 taken extra
Use synonyms
taxs
Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
 drop out obviously. Even though, some
of
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apply
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humans
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the humans
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 give up their
adddiction
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addiction
 due to
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taxs
Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
.
Cigaratte
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Cigarette
 addiction is
desciribed
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described
one
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as one
show examples
 of the hardest
addiction
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addictions
show examples
 for
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the consumer
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consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
.Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact , with the economic trouble consumers have to
be give
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give
show examples
 up
tabacco
Correct your spelling
tobacco
Tabacco
. After that
methot
Correct your spelling
method
Methot
, doctors impart that at the same time, the rate of cancer
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 with
usage
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the usage
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 of
cigaratte
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cigarette
cigarettes
.
Fourtunetly
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Fortunately
,
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government
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
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economy
economic
economi
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economic
 approach
effect
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affect
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 public health indirectly. If
same
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the same
show examples
 politica is applied
over
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to
show examples
 fast
food
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endustry
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industry
ıt
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it
 may
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
like
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in
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example
Add an article
the example
an example
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 of
tabacco
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tobacco
Tabacco
. With the commence of 21. centuries, humans life style and profile change
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
. İn the old times, most
of
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apply
show examples
humans
Add an article
the humans
show examples
 prefer to make their
food
Use synonyms
 on their own. Even those living village produce their vegetables and fruits
byself
Correct your spelling
myself
.Without taking any help, most of
person
Add an article
the person
show examples
 subsist on their basic domestic
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.But nowadays, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
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 do not prefer
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healthy
health
Correct article usage
a healty
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healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
. İnstead of caring
fruits
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for fruits
show examples
 and vegetables on their own they take their products from markets.
Use synonyms
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
Government
 should realize
this
Linking Words
 fact and make
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 money.
Unbeliaveble
Correct your spelling
Unbelievable
 number of
junk
Use synonyms
 foods are sold at market.By taking tax
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
governments
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 gain extra income.
As a result
Linking Words
, Without any doubt
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
governments
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 are supposed to take higher
Use synonyms
taxs
Correct your spelling
taxes
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
. It is good for public health or
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
government
governments
government's
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
 income.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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