Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

In the present day,a few people believe that it is essential for adolescents to play outdoor
games
rather than participate in video
games
.I partially agree with
this
thought and
this
essay will discuss the reasons with adequate examples.
To begin
, optimal physical growth is an important positive effect of
this
argument.Engaging in physical activity puts the muscles into a phase of contraction and relaxation with subsequent burning of fats.
This
leads to extensive musculoskeletal development.To illustrate,research studies in the year 2019 reveal that 50%-70% of the kids who play outdoor
games
have rapid growth spurts.
Thus
,they are taller than their counterparts.
Also
,physical activity reduces the risk of disease occurrence. Field plays facilitate the release of hormones
such
as lipoprotein and
also
anti-oxidants like vitamins A,C and E which are all involved in the prevention of illness.
For example
, playing field sports 3 times a week decreases the tendency of having cardiovascular disease by 20%.
Therefore
,
this
enables the young lads to have a healthy lifestyle.
Hence
, outdoor
games
are highly beneficial and should be encouraged.
On the other hand
,the engagement of youngsters in video
games
improves brain development. The neuronal circuits of the brain are mostly replicated when challenged with fast-paced activities
such
as
home
plays.
For instance
,studies showed that 10-15mins play of
home
games
by minors increases the development of brain cells by 20%.
This
results in the better assimilation of information and learning.
Thus
,children should be advised to participate in the playing of
home
games
for at least
10mins
Correct your spelling
10 minutes
daily. In my opinion, I believe on average that sports are important because of their ability to enhance physical strength and endurance. Daily play of these
games
results in hypertrophy of muscle fibres which is paramount in obtaining energy and resilience. Certain illustrations have shown that the minors that have more strength are the ones whose parents allow them to play sports in the garden.
Also
, the role of televised
games
in the relaxation of kids should not be overlooked. Partaking in
this
game brings so much laughter and joy. News media reported that 90% of happy children are the ones that play
home
games
30mins
Correct your spelling
30 minutes
daily before bedtime. In conclusion, outdoor plays are important
due to
their numerous benefits
such
as enhancement of body growth and reduction in the risk of diseases.
However
,televised
games
are beneficial since they improve the kids' intellect.
As a result
of
this
, youngsters should be encouraged to engage in both
games
.
Submitted by vnwekwe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your response addresses the topic but could benefit from a more focused argument. Ensure your main points directly relate to the question and avoid irrelevant information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly present. Make sure to maintain this clarity and structure throughout the essay for better coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: