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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age #eighteen
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In most education systems worldwide,
students
Use synonyms
 today have to complete their education until they are 18 years old.
Although
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this
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 yields many benefits, arguments have been saying everyone should leave
school
Use synonyms
 before eighteen. Despite numerous opinions,
this
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 essay will
further
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 discuss both sides.
To begin
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 with, young
people
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 are recommended to finish high
school
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 because they do not have enough knowledge and awareness in daily life.
Moreover
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, before eighteen years old,
students
Use synonyms
 do not reach the age of majority, so their sense of integrity is not strong, and they lack general knowledge to deal with real-world issues.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, by providing these problems with an opportunity to change, the
school
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 allows youth to develop their education and social skills.
For instance
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,
students
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 have to work with multiple situations since
school
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 is seen as a miniature society.
Therefore
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, young
people
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 can grow up with solid soft skills and a proper attitude toward others.
However
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, leaving
school
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 early gives young
people
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 more time to practice and gain experience in their chosen major.
In addition
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, more than half of the class lessons are theory-based learning;
hence
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 for the
students
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 who follow careers requiring particular learning,
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
show examples
 high
school
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 is unnecessary. Not only
this
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 but
also
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 young
people
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 have to have a lot of subjects, which reduces the time needed to focus on training their concern for the future job. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
,
students
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 can choose what path they want to go
future
Correct article usage
the future
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. If they have passion and skill in subjects that do not require
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 graduate from
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
, the public and parents should allow young
people
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 to leave
school
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 early and focus on their chosen majors.
Submitted by trinhsophie0405 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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