IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #violence #media #television #programs #films #results #behaviour
Nowadays the most trending stream in the world is
technology
Add an article
a technology
the technology
show examples
 where a lot of students choose their career in
this
field
 and one of them is
computer
science
. Nowadays,
billion
Correct your spelling
billions
show examples
 of students choose
computer
science
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 their future better,
this
 is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thing
Add an article
the thing
show examples
 in the world
held
Add a missing verb
are held
show examples
 over the internet and mostly everything
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology. Being a
computer
science
 student and intern
front end
Add a hyphen
front-end
show examples
 developer with considerable experience in
web
development
 and
UI
/UX
design
. After working for a client during my internships and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 new experiences from that like Communication
skills
 and Eternitech
specializes
Wrong verb form
specialising
show examples
 in client-side
web
development
, which became my prime motive to pursue
Master’s
Correct article usage
a Master’s
show examples
 in
Computer
Science
(
Web
development
 and Mobile
development
). With
this
 program, I intended to learn the best tools and
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
along with
imbibe
Change the verb form
imbibing
show examples
skills
 that are required
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 responsive websites and
UI
/UX
design
. My goal is to start a new career in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom as a
Web
 developer with the best figure and
also
 want to build my own organisation in the same
field
 to help people globally. I would
also
 like to challenge myself in in upcoming years and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 closely with
this
 advanced technology.
The
Change the word
My
show examples
 roots of interest in
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
 of
web
development
 since my high schooling days when I was more fascinated to solves mathematical
calculation
Fix the agreement mistake
calculations
show examples
 and learning about programming languages like C and C++, it is true that I do not
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
computer
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school but I learning from myself on my own system. I
keen
Add a missing verb
am keen
show examples
 interested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
skills
 in my own-ace and command,
this
 is because I feel good
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 that. Their implementation in real-life processes intrigued me a lot. I used to discuss my things with my offline and online friends who
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are interested in
this
field
. During my undergraduate degree in
Computer
 Application (
Computer
Science
) from Chaudhary Charan Singh University Meerut, I developed
Correct your spelling
strong
show examples
string
Correct your spelling
strong
show examples
 and deep insight
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
development
field
 and User Interface and Experience
Design
 by gaining my
skills
 in programming languages like HTML,CSS,JAVASCRIPT and some frameworks like Bootstrap and open source Javascript library reacts and react-native. In
web
development
 Front end
development
 is the most interesting area where we developed
design
 things which are fully functional and responsive while fetching data from
API’s
Change noun form
APIs
show examples
(Application Programming Interface),
this
 is because
API’s
Change noun form
APIs
show examples
 helps to make
design
Add an article
the design
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better and responsive. Later, I
also
 learn
UI
/UX
design
 with the help of Figma software
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is open
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
 for making User
Interface
Fix the agreement mistake
Interfaces
show examples
 for clients side. Now, Figma
brought
Add a missing verb
is brought
show examples
 by Adobe and include more function to
design
UI
Change preposition
in more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better way.
Submitted by azone2646 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: