IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

new research shown that overeating has become bigger problem in the world than hunger . what are the reason of this problem ? how can solve it ?

#research #world #hunger #reason
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It is true that recent research illustrated that more eating has become a worldwide problem compared to hunger. The impending essay will discuss the main problems of overfeeding and will elaborate on two possible solutions. Perhaps one of the main issues of overfeeding is online working from home. To start with, working online may contribute to people spending time at home, which may result in a significant increase in food
consumption
Use synonyms
 leading them to have a sedentary lifestyle.
As a result
Linking Words
, those who do have not a physical career have overeating habits.
Additionally
Linking Words
, fast food
consumption
Use synonyms
 is another major problem that encourages consumers to consume more than 4 times a day
this
Linking Words
 is because they are delicious and cheap.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, those who do not like cooking at home consume all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
. There are two best solutions for these issues. To start with, work should be done by employers in offices
this
Linking Words
 would help them
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 to
workplaces
Correct pronoun usage
their workplaces
show examples
this
Linking Words
 results
to increase
Change preposition
in increased
show examples
 physical activity and
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 spend their
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 outside and avoid eating and
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 may decrease by the community if their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 postponed by managers and most importantly, the government should increase taxes on fast cuisine restaurants
this
Linking Words
 would have a huge effect on the price of junk snack and family avoid eating them. In conclusion, recent research showed that overfeeding become a worldwide issue than hunger. Working online, junk drink
consumption
Use synonyms
 and
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 economy are the main reasons for them
while
Linking Words
 working physically and increasing taxes on restaurants can be remedied for them.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to clearly address all parts of the task question and support all ideas with relevant, specific examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as organizing supporting points in a logical manner.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and ensure accurate word choices to effectively express ideas.
Grammatical Range
Focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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