IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problem does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local product?

#businesses #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products #product
It is conspicuous that giant
business
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businesses
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 are investing
large
Change the article
a large
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of money
on
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in
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 their
products
 to induce people to buy their manufactures. Against, there are local markets that are faced low budget
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to disruption in
selling
Add an article
the selling
show examples
 process.
This
 essay would mention the
origin
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original
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 problems and some measures to address these problems.
First
Correct article usage
The first
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 and foremost obstacle which is covered behind the trade
Correct your spelling
policies
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polices
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policies
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 is the vast opportunity for
large
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a large
show examples
business
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businesses
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 to advertise and
being
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be
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 popular.
That is
 to say, a tremendous danger is
Correct your spelling
threatening
treating
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the local market.
For instance
, large companies usually convert their
products
 into a brand and choose a catchy name.
Hence
, to
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a compared
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compared
Wrong verb form
compare
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 local
company
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companies
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 with
lower
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a lower
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budget
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budgets
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 to indicate their
products
.
As a result
, they would experience less selling.
Additionally
, because of
high
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the high
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 selling rate can offer
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 competitive price. In
this
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
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 indigenous factories should decrease the price just for a little profit. To recapitulate briefly, commercial or international
company’s
Fix the agreement mistake
companies’
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 ads seduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people to buy but other
company
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companies
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 can’t afford that. Regarding some tackles, the contributing factors to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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selling
Correct article usage
the selling
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 rate of
local
Add an article
the local
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company
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companies
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 consist of designing some plans and meeting
latent
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the latent
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 needs of societies. To
explanation
Replace the word
explain
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, making surveys to enhance awareness of the producers about the
products
 that peoples need to prepare immediately.
Therefore
, nations can provide some plans and communities to transfer their ideas. To conclude, giant
business
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businesses
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 and large companies have been experiencing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect selling because of that they invest money more and more
everyday
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every day
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. Among these
treatments
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,treatments
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 local goods
has
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have
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 been faced a problem
such
 as lack of investment and offering low prices and less profit. Ultimately
via
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apply
show examples
designing
Add an article
a plan
the plan
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plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
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 and contributing people to local communities should be released these problems
drasticly
Correct your spelling
drastically
.
Submitted by marzieh.kava on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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