IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think it's better women can join army navy and Air forces. Give advantages and disadvantages of this

#people #women #army #navy #air #forces
To protect the nation's border many people join the navy where the preference is male.
However
, it is contradicted by some people as females should
also
 join the army force.
This
 trend could lead to various benefits and demerits which are discussed in upcoming paragraphs.
First
 and Foremost, if women would be selected as army officer or piolet in some places where ladies are always degraded due to their physical strength and has just become the source of giving birth to a baby ,especially in rural areas could have the opportunity to be highlighted for their strength as men. Other than
this
, For the betterment of , the nation it is believed that the ladies have feminism which handles everything more as compared to men in a much better way. For an instance, I have seen many girls have beaten the boys in the field air sector resulting in winning several medals.
On the other hand
,
this
 process has undoubtedly some detrimental side effects as well which are hard to be ignored.
Firstly
, No matter how hard a woman can try but still due to differences in physical some things cannot be done resulting in damage to the woman's body.
Moreover
, women are the pillar to running a family and if they would be in the army navy it would be hard to manage everything as it would be difficult for the partner and kids as well. To conclude, obviously women should have
also
 been given chance to be selected in the various high level of workforces as their talents should not be underestimated in terms of physical strength despite it could lead to some bad impact on their body for later age along with the solution of giving them the opportunity in an appropriate side for the better result and make them equal.
Submitted by mg8583934 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: