IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stresses. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Staying healthy is often associated with nutritious food, an active lifestyle and calmness. In my nation, citizens need to include organic food in their meals, follow rigorous exercises
as well as
Linking Words
 stay mindful of their
overall
Linking Words
 wellness. There are myriad explanations for health-consciousness among individuals as time is scarce for workaholics and they are more prone to obesity and other health-related issues.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, every person nowadays has joined some kind of recreational activities to stay fit because of their long hour sitting jobs which have an adverse impact on their health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a person wants to be fit as a fiddle they ought to participate in sports, gym or any other physical activity
as well as
Linking Words
 have a balanced meal and avoid junk food. In a recent survey,
for example
Linking Words
, by Hindustan Times it was calculated that 70 per cent of youngsters have inculcated sports as their extracurricular activity to stay fit because many teenagers are struggling with heart disease.
Thus
Linking Words
, imbibing these habits from a tender age would yield fruitful results in their later stage of life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, yoga and meditation are
also
Linking Words
 trending at their peak among every age group.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it is generally seen citizens enrol themselves in these yoga classes to feed their minds and soul.
Although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
 people have less time and follow a mundane routine, they have joined meditation centres so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 relieve themselves from stress and anxiety.
For instance
Linking Words
, Information technology companies have made it mandatory for every employee to join stress buster classes on campus so that the workers would perform well in their tasks.
To conclude
Linking Words
, to stay healthy and live a happy life every person has to become aware of the benefits of balanced meals and the repercussions of a sedentary lifestyle. Is it possible to live longer with prospering health without adding nutrition, workout and a peaceful mind?

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task question and presents relevant ideas. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sufficient, and it includes an introduction and conclusion. To improve, consider using more cohesive devices to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: