IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others beleive that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best or they are most interested are most interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #beleive #focus
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 true that everyone has their own
subject
Use synonyms
 of interest and an individual will more likely to prefer to learn
indepth
Correct your spelling
in depth
in-depth
 in it. But in schooling
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 mostly in common that one should give equal concentration in all
subjects
Use synonyms
, while some others tend to give more
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 to favourite
subject
Use synonyms
 in their teen life. I strongly agree that in teenage, people should definitely learn all
subject
Use synonyms
 in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 way
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 one another in
this
Linking Words
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
. Learning all lessons
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of schooling brings general
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 in all
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
,which may eventually give them
confidence
Change the article
the confidence
show examples
 to select their future studies with vast opportunities.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 a pupil
exceling
Correct your spelling
excelling
 in his or her 10th grade
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
examination requires to score more
marks
Use synonyms
 in all
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 to choose their 11 th grade groups like CS maths, Bio maths, commerce etc. So the
marks
Use synonyms
 scored in all
subjects
Use synonyms
 and overall
marks
Use synonyms
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 his future grade.
Correct your spelling
In addition
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,
Add an article
a pupil
the pupil
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 in higher secondary level
also
Linking Words
 have to get good
marks
Use synonyms
 in all
subjects
Use synonyms
 apart from
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
show examples
 one, because both overall
score
Change to a plural noun
scores
show examples
as well as favourite stream
Add the comma(s)
, as well as favourite stream,
show examples
 is calculated for college admission. If a student
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 ample
marks
Use synonyms
 in his desired
subject
Use synonyms
 and low
marks
Use synonyms
 in other
subjects
Use synonyms
 may end up getting
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of eligibility to receive admission in college or his or her choice may be less would be
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best sample. To conclude, the person in
tender
Add an article
the tender
show examples
 should give equal importance to all
subjects
Use synonyms
 in their young age to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in their future life.
Submitted by TAMIZH012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: