IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the socity .others ,however, belive that school is the place to learn this . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #members #socity #belive #school #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is very crucial that our children grow up to be
an effective members
Correct the article-noun agreement
an effective member
effective members
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
society
city
socity
Correct your spelling
society
,while many people argue that it is their parent job ,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 is the
role
Use synonyms
 of the teachers . On the one hand ,its no doubt that parents play a vital
role
Use synonyms
 in building
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
Correct your spelling
character
charcter
Correct your spelling
character
 .most kids stay at home for many years before they are enrolled in
school
Use synonyms
 .
this
Linking Words
 period
Correct your spelling
should
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be taken advantage of and teach children some values .apperantly ,
Correct your spelling
scientific
sicntific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 studies show that the way we act as
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
 is
largly
Correct your spelling
largely
 based on how we were raised .and that most of our adult
behavier
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 comes from whatever imposed on us in the
first
Linking Words
 five years .so parents should allocate a big portion of their life to build a good person.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,schools can
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
paly
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
 an
invitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
role
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
,
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
 spent a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time in
school
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 will
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
undoubtly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 have a tremendous effect on their personality by gaining a
lot
Use synonyms
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 values
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 their peers and teachers .
secondly
Linking Words
 schools is a perfect place to hold a
lot
Use synonyms
 of workshop about
Correct your spelling
human
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 development and what can a person bring to their
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 .finaly teachers being parents themselves can implement a
lot
Use synonyms
 of values and morals for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to be
abetter
Correct your spelling
a better
show examples
 version from their selves In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 , both
Correct your spelling
caregivers
show examples
care givers
Correct your spelling
caregivers
show examples
 and
school
Use synonyms
personeal
Correct your spelling
personnel
personal
 play a
role
Use synonyms
 in raising a kid to be a fine member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socity
Correct your spelling
society
city
 and have their own fingerprint . To conclude ,it takes both the family and the
school
Use synonyms
 to raise a good generation .
Submitted by osama_elneel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: