Some people think parents should not encourage to do a part time job to what extend do you agree or disagree with this view.

Parents
are guardians of their
children
. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
all
parents
always want the best for their kids. Some people believe that
parents
should not support their kids into having part-time jobs. It
is obviously disagreed
Change to the active voice
obviously disagrees
has obviously disagreed
show examples
that
parents
should encourage their
children
to do
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
part-time
work
while having their studies because it can loosen
someone
Change noun form
someone's
show examples
focused
Replace the word
focus
show examples
on their education and decrease their academic performance.
to begin
with, a part-time job can distract someone when they should have been studying.
For instance
, people with jobs can be more comfortable doing their
work
than finishing homework because of the money they get to earn.
In addition
, the time and energy
also
can be driven to the job
instead
of studying. For that reason, It would not be supportive of their studies if
parents
encourage their kids to do a part-time activity.
secondly
, having to
work
and study at the same time would need a person to have the ability to maintain the time that they have to do both properly.
For example
, someone could lose their focus in class for the abundance of
work
. If a student cannot focus on their academics, it can possibly ruin their reports eventually.
Therefore
,
parents
should support their
children
to focus on their academics
instead
of their job. In conclusion, regarding
parents
' financial ability to support their kid's learning. I believe that any
parents
would want their
children
at their best performance at school
that is
why education must come
first
for
parents
to encourage so that they hopefully can succeed in their lives.
Submitted by syahriar on

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