IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many modern socities grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. what do you think are the consequences of this?

In the
last
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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decades
Punctuation problem
decades,
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 families are getting smaller , and most people prefer privacy and choose to move out of
home
Correct article usage
the home
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 after getting married or
higher
Verb problem
pursuing higher
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 education .
Therefore
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 , grandchildren get less chance to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their
grandparents
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. There are so many consequences of
this
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 phenomenon
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be discussed in a
further
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 paragraph with a suitable conclusion.
To begin
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,
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apply
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with the reason
,
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apply
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 why grandchildren rarely spend
time
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 with
grandparents
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 ,
firstly
Linking Words
 , because nowadays both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents
Use synonyms
 are working and they are not staying near
to
Change preposition
apply
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their
parents
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 ,
thus
Linking Words
 they cannot get a chance to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with the elder person in their family .Another reason could be
due to
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 their parent's egos means that their
parents
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 don't have a good bonding with their
parents
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 or
parents
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-in-law.
For instance
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 , after getting married
daughters-in-law
Punctuation problem
, daughters-in-law
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 are not able to adjust to the new family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they move out to some different place,
therefore
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 their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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 have less chance to interact with their
grandparents
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. Now coming to the consequences,
First
Fix capitalization
first
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 and foremost , adolescents lost the opportunity to spend their most precious
time
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 enjoying their childhood.
For instance
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 , I remember my childhood
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 my grandmother used to live with us
, she
Punctuation problem
. She
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 spent so much
time
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 cooking dishes for me
Punctuation problem
,
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and I never had to worry about living
alone
Punctuation problem
alone,
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 as if my
parents
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 not at home
, my
Punctuation problem
. My
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 grandma is always there to help us in cooking or rest of the household chores.
Moreover
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 , spending
time
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 with older
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 adolescents
time
Use synonyms
 to learn about their culture and family values, and they remain more motivated about their career without forgetting their roots. Most importantly ,
They
Fix capitalization
they
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 learn to respect the older people in society as they know how to behave with their
grandparents
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.
To sum up
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 , nowadays
parents
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 are busy and living far from their loved ones
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is the major reason that grandchildren get less quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their
grandparents
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, which could lead them to lose their family values and culture in future .

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task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep to one main idea per paragraph.
task response
Add more evidence to back each point and check that the idea matches the question.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas, such as 'first', 'next', 'finally', to help flow.
coherence
Break text into small, plain paragraphs; start each with a topic sentence.
task response
Check grammar and small mistakes that make it hard to read; simpler sentences help.
content
There is a clear focus on time spent with family.
structure
You give a personal example which shows why the topic matters.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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