Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing

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Governments are obligated to manage the source of
taxes
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that will be allocated to public facilities, especially from people’s earnings. Some people claim that they need to take a substantial ratio from workers’s wages,
while
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others argue
that is
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not an effective approach. In my opinion, I believe that higher
taxes
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would bring more negative points,
such
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as poverty. Greater
taxes
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can definitely support a country’s development as they increase public satisfaction by providing citizens with better facilities. These can be useful for citizens because they can utilize them more comfortably, which can satisfy them,
thus
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they will value those amenities more.
For instance
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, in Japan, workers are required to pay high
taxes
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on their income to the government since they will be employed to improve infrastructures, including making wider roads and building more railways, which fulfil people’s pleasure when they commute to their workplace.
On the other hand
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, individuals would be burdened by higher taxation, raising the risk of poverty. They will strive to pay for the tax, and it makes them struggle to live and acquire their basic needs. To exemplify, in the U.S.,
taxes
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that are obtained from people’s earnings are bigger, which significantly affects individuals’ lives and worsens their conditions.
As a result
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, poverty is severe there, impacting one country’s economic growth.
Hence
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, the higher the
taxes
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are, the more people suffer from economic hardships
due to
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a lack of financial aspects to have a stable life, which is why making greater
taxes
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is not a viable option.
To conclude
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, I consider that taking greater
taxes
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will play a pivotal role in increasing public
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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as it can provide more public services.
Nevertheless
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, it would ultimately lead to a downside if people are unable to afford their living costs and must pay
taxes
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simultaneously.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to enhance readability and understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the main points.
task achievement
Main points are supported adequately, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of salary
  • Necessary public services
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Redistributing wealth
  • Discourage
  • Motivation and productivity
  • Favorable tax conditions
  • Infringement on personal freedom
  • Balanced approach
  • Progressive tax system
  • Economic activity
  • Financial growth
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