IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many schools these days have problems with poor student behaviour. Why do you think these problems occur? What could be done to tackle these problems.

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Besides
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 learning,
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 rules are one of the most important things in almost
schools
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. But nowadays,
schools
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 are facing a growing
problem
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 with student code of conduct.
This
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 essay will look at the reason why
children
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 behave illegally and propose some solutions to address them. One of the main causes of the
problem
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 is that
parents
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 nowadays are becoming easygoing and have a tendency to let
children
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 free to do whatever they want, do not establish clear boundaries and some rules of communication in a polite way. As a consequence, spoilt
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and naughty character are shaped
children
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’s personalities. To tackle
this
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problem
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,
schools
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 should talk to
parents
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 about their offspring and suggest they participate more in educating
children
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. Another
problem
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 is that media and digital technology are becoming more and more developed, they cover everywhere in the world.
This
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 development cause
children
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 to spend a long time keep eyes glued to screens, computers and smartphones.
This
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 led
children
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 to distraction status and increased the risk of disruptive
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. Dealing with
this
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 issue involves
parents
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 should monitor their
children
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’s activity on social networks and not
let
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letting
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 them spend too many hours on technology devices. A
third
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 cause of the
problem
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 is that nowadays
children
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 are allowed to bring smartphones to
school
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.
This
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 has resulted in most
children
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 using mobile and they send messages, chat and even watch youtube videos while teachers are learning in the classroom. The way forward could be to
school
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 prohibit
children
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 to use smartphones in
school
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, especially while attending lessons. To sum up, the number of poor
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
children
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 in
school
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 is increasing.
This
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 situation has become a challenge for many
schools
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.
Parents
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 and teachers should put so much effort into managing and controlling
children
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 both in
school
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 and at home.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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