IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is believed that developed countries should solve the climate change, while others believe that it is developing countries that should dealth with this opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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Some people argue that the biggest
countries
Use synonyms
 must produce some solutions to eliminate climate change
while
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 other people think that developing
countries
Use synonyms
 must solve
this
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 problem. I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that developing
nations
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 should handle
this
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 situation even though there are positive and negative sides to both aspects. In
this
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 essay, the pros and cons will be discussed below.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that societies which are living in improved
countries
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 have more opportunities to solve some environmental problems. Their strong economies and high educational standards
provide
Verb problem
allow
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 them to apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ideas which can erase harmful changes on the Earth.
For instance
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, America has the financial strength to produce highly technological air filters for cars to eliminate air pollution compared to Turkey.
In addition
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 to
this
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, people who are residing in America are
taking
Verb problem
getting
show examples
 more qualified education
thus
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 their ideas can be more creative to develop new innovations.
As a result
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, it would be easier to take steps to reduce climate change in developed
countries
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some other problems to solve or investments to make for advanced
nations
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such
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 as space travelling. Human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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insists
Wrong verb form
insist
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 on discovering the universe and millions and billions are being spent in order to achieve
this
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. Only a few big
nations
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 are able to investigate
this
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 aim and it is understandable that these
nations
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 should spend their energy and money on
this
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 purpose rather than on solving climate change.
For example
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, most of the budget
of
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in
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 America is separated
for
Change preposition
from
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 NASA, not for environmental issues. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion, both developed and developing
countries
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 have some duties to
this
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 world. I believe that developed
countries
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 should spend their time taking the biggest steps to get answers about the universe. I predict that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
Use synonyms
 can solve all of the problems about the environment if they can canalise to
this
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 duty.

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task achievement
While your essay presents both sides of the argument, consider providing a stronger conclusion by clearly stating your position again and summarizing the main points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use paragraphing effectively. The paragraph on developed countries could be separated into two paragraphs: one focusing on their strengths regarding climate change and the other on other issues, such as space travel.
coherence and cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'dealth' should be 'dealt', 'canalise' could be better expressed as 'focus on'). Proofreading your work can help catch these small mistakes.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument with relevant examples, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main argument you will explore, setting a good foundation for the essay.
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