IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #organizations #people #argue #bosses
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It is often argued that the higher
position
Use synonyms
 of a company should
be hold
Change the verb form
be held
show examples
(held) by an older member, while some believe that youngsters can do
this
Linking Words
 job better. In my opinion, I completely agree with the statement that young people are more up-to-date about the modern world and flexible to
work
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, young people are significantly energetic,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to hold
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leading
position
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
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 any organization. They are physically and mentally strong enough, which makes them eager to take
any
Change preposition
on any
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 new challenges and overcome
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 new experiments and resources.
Such
Linking Words
 characteristics are highly encouraged by other employees of the organization, and they are very keen
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
. That helps to company’s development.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays we can see
on
Change preposition
in
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 the newspaper that the young generation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 highly encouraged to hold any political
position
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 or managing director
position
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 in any multinational
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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. Young executives are
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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 as they are willing to accept new ideas for
growth
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the growth
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 of the company.
Secondly
Linking Words
, young managers are very passionate about the latest technological innovations, so they are always up-to-date,
how
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on how
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 the world is progressing day by day. They are very much used to
with
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apply
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the latest technology,
such
Linking Words
 as
Internet
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the Internet
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, smartphone, laptop, tab etc., which makes their
work
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 easier, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are working
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
remotely. It saves their important time as well.
For example
Linking Words
, many advertising
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
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 get
new
Add an article
a new
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idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 from
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 and promote their product in an innovative way.
Thus
Linking Words
, the youth can change the traditional way of thinking and bring the organization to a profitable
position
Use synonyms
. To conclude, I strongly believe that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more capable
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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managing
position
Use synonyms
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older people because they are dynamic and
Add a hyphen
forward-thinking
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forward thinking
Add a hyphen
forward-thinking
show examples
 at their
work
Use synonyms
, which demands
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leadership.
Submitted by tofabd on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
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