Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for this? Is it negative or positive development?

Opinions differ when it comes to the way in which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older educate their
children
. It is argued that the younger generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
getting more pressure from their
parents
. There could be several reasons why they do
this
, and I believe that these actions can cause detriments to the development of
children
.
This
is going to examine the motives behind
this
phenomenon and elaborate on my perspective.
Parents
usually leave no stone unturned in the path of pushing their
children
to success. There is a strong correlation between a happy life and a successful person, so they tend to force their
children
to work hard. They would not realize that without
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the help of the older, they are not able to maintain self-discipline.
As a result
, they would not emerge triumphant. In some cases,
parents
deliberately set tight schedules on behalf of their
children
, limiting time for recreational activities, so the latter can focus on achieving high scores. I believe that these activities can cause a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
’s mental health. The more
parents
for their
children
, the more stressed they are. Without outdoor activities, they cannot relax or expand their circle of friends, which increases stress levels. In the long run,
children
’s mental state can
be deteriorated
Change to the active voice
deteriorate
show examples
.
This
will render them unable to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
study and succeed in the near future.
As a result
, those methods to force
children
prove
Add the particle
to prove
show examples
counterproductive. In conclusion, it is understandable that
parents
want their
children
to gain achievements
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
they can go to extremes to accomplish their goals.
However
, the approach of putting them poses more threats than positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
.
Parents
should accompany them by empowering their intellectual curiosity.
Submitted by hatanluan010201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: