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Band 5.5

more people are stressed today copared to the past. what are the causes of this stress? what can be done to address this problem?

#people #stress #address
Across countries, it has been considered that an abundant sum of residents
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 under more pressure than ever before.
This
 essay will tend to provide some reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and figure out effective remedies to tackle
this
 situation.
First
 and foremost, the unprecedented growth in worldwide hassle circumstances can be explained by a price of causes. Most paramountly,
hetrick
Change the capitalization
Hetrick
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work
 schedule, nowadays the public
are
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is
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 terribly bustling with their duties and troubles with financial and achievement disorders.
As a result
, it is a real struggle for them to make
time
 for themselves,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 it boosts mental stress. Another explanation Is that the tense escalation is related to the other element,
for example
, living in noise pollution, inadequate disposable income and insufficient
work
 breaks and holidays.
Furthermore
,
currently
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,currently
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 it is noticed that use number of employees particularly the freelancers, they are working in
long
Add an article
the long
a long
show examples
 night which
mitigate
Change the verb form
mitigates
show examples
 their sleeping
time
 and increased anxiement.
On the other hand
, to overcome
this
 condition a multitude of methods would be taken.
Firstly
, working in a lenient way,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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not only diminished
work
 burden but
also
 increased
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
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work
 capacity and efficiency.
Secondly
, people should be introduced
with
Change preposition
to
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 meditation, daily exercise,
yoga
Correct word choice
and yoga
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 and must be played sports on a regular basis.
Finally
, a perfect and balance lifestyle
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 significant to reduce tension,
besides
 these, try to spend quality
time
 with family,
for instance
, go to
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
,
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 and
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
, by these ways population can bring down stress. To sum up, the reduction of pressure is vital in human life,
therefore
, people should spend spare
time
 as well as create flexible working hours.
Submitted by farjanashamsi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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