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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#offices #open-space #designs #rooms #work #outweigh
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Opinions differ when it comes to the way in which
the
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apply
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older educate their
children
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. It is argued that the younger generation is getting more pressure from their
parents
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. There could be several reasons why they do
this
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, and I believe that these actions can cause detriments to the development of
children
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.
This
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 is going to examine the motives behind
this
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 phenomenon and elaborate on my perspective.
Parents
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 usually leave no stone unturned in the path of pushing their
children
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 to success. There is a strong correlation between a happy life and a successful person, so they tend to force their
children
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 to work hard. They would not realize that without
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the help of the older, they are not able to maintain self-discipline.
As a result
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, they would not emerge triumphant. In some cases,
parents
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 deliberately set tight schedules on behalf of their
children
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, limiting time for recreational activities, so the latter can focus on achieving high scores. I believe that these activities can cause a negative impact on
the
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apply
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children
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’s mental health. The more
parents
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 for their
children
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, the more stressed they are. Without outdoor activities, they cannot relax or expand their circle of friends, which increases stress levels. In the long run,
children
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’s mental
state
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states
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 can deteriorate.
This
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 will render them unable to study and succeed in the near future.
As a result
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, those methods to force
children
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prove
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to prove
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 counterproductive. In conclusion, it is understandable that
parents
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 want their
children
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 to gain achievements so that they can go to extremes to accomplish their goals.
However
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, the approach of putting them poses more threats than positive impacts.
Parents
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 should accompany them by empowering their intellectual curiosity.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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