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Band 4.5

Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, sucha as an unsatisfacotry job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #belive #situation #sucha #unsatisfacotry #job #shortage #money #situations
Many
people
 think that staying in an unsatisfying situation is better, while others disagree with
this
 idea and think that if they adapt to worse circumstances, they will improve. On the one hand, most
people
 prefer to give up on their bad situation because they are afraid to go out of their comfort zone.
People
 who do not like their current job but choose to remain to
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
.
This
 is because they might get a lower salary than their previous workplace offer or it may take longer to unemploy than they think.
However
, I disagree with
this
 argument because if
people
 have the patience to work in worse situations for too long, it will have an effect on their mental health.
On the other hand
, those who take action to improve their unsatisfactory situation become stronger than in the past.
Moreover
, those
people
 who work hard can develop some of their skills and gain more experience. It
also
 leads to a quality person who might have a good opportunity in their career path and obtain more income to improve their quality of life. I think
this
 approach is much better. In conclusion,
although
 those
people
 who stay in their comfort zones
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
avoid risks, in my opinion,
people
 should put effort into improving the unpleasant situations they are in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
 allows them to use their lives worth living.
Submitted by khkanisara on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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