IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that capital punishment is good for a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #punishment #country
One proverbial expression says, “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” which means that the
punishment
 should always be
as
Change preposition
to as
show examples
 same degree as the committed
crime
. Whilst some
people
 view
this
 as beneficial for a
country
, others see it as injustice and inhumane.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my own perspective, I totally agree with
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
 and the following paragraphs will support my views on the said matter. Nowadays,
crime
rates
are continue
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continue
show examples
 to increase because of poverty and
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
. As observed, murders, rape and other serious crimes are
also
 happening more often now than ever. With capital
punishment
 in place, it helps to reduce
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate as
people
 get to be aware of the possible consequences of their actions which is
death
. Back when
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
,
people
 feared lethal injection and “
silia
Correct your spelling
silica
cilia
electria
Correct your spelling
electric
” (electric chair).
As a result
,
crime
rates
 were lower
before
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apply
show examples
compared
today
Change preposition
to today
show examples
. Now, after banning the use of capital
punishment
 because of the involvement of the Catholic church, criminals use it as an advantage to do heinous crimes repeatedly as they are aware that they can only get jail time as a consequence. Unfortunately,
instead
 of criminals fearing for their lives now, it is the common
people
 that are scared knowing that their lives are in great danger.
Additionally
, imposing
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
 is beneficial for the progress of one’s
country
. It does not only make
people
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
 but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the
country
 safer to live in. Like Singapore, it is considered
as
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apply
show examples
one of the
most
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apply
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safest
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
that is
 why
people
 from all over the world come and pay
visit
Add an article
a visit
show examples
. But why do you think it is safe? It is because of their capital
punishment
.
As a result
,
crime
rates
 are low compared to
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
other neighbouring countries. Local residents as well as tourists get to travel around the
country
 without fearing for their lives as well as their possessions. In conclusion, I believe that part of a
country
’s success and greatness is
also
 making sure that it is safe to live in and has low
crime
rates
. By imposing
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
, it does not only eliminate criminals but
also
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
people
 safe.
Thus
, I totally agree with capital
punishment
.
Submitted by feline_magno on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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