IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

#‏in #countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #‏do #be #schools
in many parts of the world ,students are
beening
Correct your spelling
being
 obligated to wear uniforms.I stand strongly by
this
inforcment
Correct your spelling
enforcement
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe it should be applied to all institutes.and
this
 essay will illustrate
further
 .
firstly
 , wearing the same uniforms give a sense of
Correct your spelling
discipline
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and part of dress coding .
in other words
 ,it will give children a feeling of
belongnisness
Correct your spelling
belongingness
 to that particular
school
 .and it will
Correct your spelling
automatically
automaticly
Correct your spelling
automatically
 make them behave better when
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 go out after
school
 hours
for instance
 .because they know that their attitude
represnt
Correct your spelling
represent
 their institute .
secondly
,not all schoolchildren live in the same social status .and not all of them can afford
luxurios
Correct your spelling
luxurious
luxuries
Correct your spelling
clothes
clouses
Correct your spelling
clauses
closes
 ,so enforcing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
outfets
Correct your spelling
outfits
 for all is good for their unity and allows for less
discremination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
such
 that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 be judged based on their performance not their look .my only recommendation
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
outfets
Correct your spelling
outfits
 should be in a more
cheerable
Correct your spelling
steerable
calors
Correct your spelling
colours
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the ones we are seeing them around.
Correct your spelling
finally
finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
,
this
 is
also
 beneficial for the
school
personeel
Correct your spelling
personnel
 ,it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 free
puplicity
Correct your spelling
publicity
 .
for example
 if they went on a trip
then
 everyone around them will know which
school
 they are a part of . to
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, wearing uniforms should be the
targets
Fix the agreement mistake
target
show examples
 of all teaching institutes if they are reaching for a more
diciplment
Correct your spelling
devilment
 and unity .
Submitted by osama_elneel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: