The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

The two pie charts provide information about

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

and girls’ participation rates in various

activities

after the survey.

Overall

, computer games are the most famous activity among

boys

whereas

dancing is among girls. Males’ least participating activity is reading.

In contrast

, it takes the second highest

portion

among females.

Boys

mostly like to play computer games,

as a result

of the survey,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

shows almost half of all cultural and leisure

activities

whereas

girls’

portion

this

activity takes nearly half of

boys’

Add an article

the boys’

show examples

rate, 16%. The second highest participation

portion

among

boys

is basketball which takes nearly a quarter of all

activities

Similarly

, girls involve in reading after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dancing,

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

21%. The

least

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

portion

Change preposition

show examples

cultural and leisure

activities

is reading that

boys

participate in, 2%. The rate of 11%, which shows a similar participation

portion

indicates skateboarding for

boys

and gymnastics for girls. Both males and females listen to the music

Change preposition

show examples

the same level, taking one-tenth of all

activities

Submitted by nurgulast on Tue Sep 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, activities, portion with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is military for women.People guess women should be allowed to the army just like men in different areas.Personally,i tend to think that they shoud not spend their time in military
4.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Over past few decades, individuals trained with professional skills such as medical and engineering are offered with a broad opportunities to work outside their countries, due to the continually-surging need of professional workers. Many believe that those people need to be encouraged to take the offer, while others oppose this view. As for my personal perspective, I believe that every individual should not work overseas.
4
band
Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In current decades, it is thought that tertiary education programs should educate students through practical training instead of offering a wealth of theoretical knowledge. From my perspective, I strongly agree that effective combination between these two methods can bring about higher learning efficiency.
4
band
Some people say that every human being can create art . Others think only people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In this contemporary epoch, a number of reckon that every person or children can create art.Nonetheless, others opine that people who born the ability of art,only can do. In my opinion, common and talented people both can create art as professionals jobs.Which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
4
band
In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls
The positive side is that the customers prefers to buy their house hold items from shopping malls where they get the provision to shop for a wide variety of grocery items such as vegetables, fruits, baked items and so on. There is a expiry date that is provided on each of the goods that are purchased at these stores which help the buyer know that certain products can be used for a week or a certain period of time. The meat, fish and selected products are stored in refrigerators that keep the food fresh for longer. At the shopping centers people benefit from buying other products as well such as clothes,

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that every human being can create art . Others think only people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In Recent Years Many Local Shops Have Closed Because Customers Travel To Large Shopping Malls