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Band 6.5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is argued that high earnings are much more meaningful than job fulfilment in people’s career selection.
This
 essay totally disagrees with
this
 statement. I believe that people are increasingly concerned about the danger of stress-related diseases and the negative effect on both the mentor and physical health of individuals in highly paid positions, and they are more and more paying attention to feeling fulfilled at
work
.
Firstly
, individuals who get well paid usually
work
 under significant mental and emotional pressure with the strict requirement in their performances and the need to achieve targets.
This
 causes them in the
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
, to suffer a high level of stress or depression which leads to many health problems. Most of them experience symptoms
such
 as mood disorders, hard-to-control feelings, getting angry, headaches, loss of control of body weight, and other painful states of mind, which trigger poor
work
 performance and low productivity.
Secondly
, a great number of people consider choosing a position that can bring a
work
-life
balance
 for them,
instead
 of a high income, and it is
also
 the most vital factor in career decisions. An ideal profession with a great
work
-life
balance
 is highly beneficial as it helps achieve a tension-free,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower risk of burnout and a greater sense of well-being.
This
 not only benefits employees but
also
 employers.
Besides
, enterprises that are committed to providing environments that support
work
-life
balance
 for their staff can save on costs, experience fewer cases of absenteeism, and enjoy a more loyal and productive workforce. In conclusion, I strongly believe that earning a substantial wage is less important than fulfilment at
work
, and it is extremely essential to maintain the
balance
 between professional and individual life.
Submitted by wbvovo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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