There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
staying in a workspace has many contributing factors out of which
money
is one of the most significant reasons.
Money
served as the payment of goods and it leads to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
standard of
life
.
Therefore
, I agree that
money
is the
mainly
Change the adverb
main
show examples
reason for
people
to sustain
productivities
Fix the agreement mistake
productivity
show examples
in
Add an article
the work
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
place
.
To begin
with,
money
allows
people
to buy, earn, and sell in the same units. It let us
to
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apply
show examples
buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,
house
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houses
show examples
, and
other service
Change the wording
another service
other services
show examples
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, without
money
,
people
can hardly survive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
, making
money
is the only way to maintain a basic
life
. Indeed,
people
need to
work
to get paid. Overall,
money
plays an
Correct your spelling
important
importnt
Correct your spelling
important
role in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
life
that keeps
people
to stay in a
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
place
.
Although
, it can be
siad
Correct your spelling
said
that there are other aspects that are attached to how other reasons rather than
money
improve
work
performance in the working area.
For example
, a friendly working
Correct your spelling
environment
envorment
Correct your spelling
environment
that allow workers to cooperate
comfortablelly
Correct your spelling
comfortable
comfortably
can be one of the
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
to consider.
Also
, a
place
for
people
to
Correct your spelling
pursue
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
their dream job.
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
Nvertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, Despite
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
many factors,
moneystill
Correct your spelling
money still
plays an important role in
people
's
life
. Since a handsome salary is required to fulfil their own and family desires.
Money
help raised the quality of
life
and, provides sufficient funds that could be spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
personal passion.
Consequently
,
money
Correct your spelling
interest
intrest
Correct your spelling
interests
the workers to stay. In conclusion,
Correct your spelling
even
Evan
evan
Correct your spelling
even
though there are other
expectation
Change the wording
expectations
show examples
that
people
seek in a
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
place
,
money
is a colossal factor
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
improving
work
efficiency on the job.
Submitted by razab5469 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
What to do next:
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