IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industries #economies #world #damage #cultures #environment
It is certainly true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism generates huge sums of money and for many countries in the world it is
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main resource for the government budget. The local economies all around the world are very dependent on the influx of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
, particularly with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to local employment. Countries like Cuba
for example
 have a significant number of people employed in the hotel industry
as a result
. At the outset, some people argue that the major part of the income generated is being
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
show examples
 not to the local economy but to the multinational companies that supply transport to the visitors to get to their destinations, hotel chains and to the shopping outlets that offer hospitality to them.
In addition
, critics say that the ecological situation in the world is getting worse and worse, and, of course, partly it happens because the number of international flights has skyrocketed
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we compare
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 those of 50 years ago. There has been
researching
Replace the word
research
show examples
 by environmentalists that the amount of pollution emitted by aeroplanes
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 tripled.
In addition
, the
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are becoming more and more capricious, they are not just satisfied with ancient
Correct your spelling
architecture
arquitecture
Correct your spelling
architecture
, they want something exclusive, like unique places of vital eco-system, especially those fragile areas of Antarctica.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some folks prefer to ignore the negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, nowadays we face
totally
Add an article
a totally
show examples
 different reality. The nature surrounding and dwellers who live near the airports experience on themselves the effects of noise and air pollution.
On the other hand
, the tourists generate tons of waste, which has a deep impact on the local urban image. In many cases, they are just ignorant and don’t respect the rule of the place they visit.
For instance
, some persons who live close to the beach leave some waste food and plastic bottles in the sand and don’t even worry about recollecting them afterwards.
Nonetheless
, I think it is wrong to claim that those problems are being totally ignored. There are many eco-friendly organizations which are seriously concerned about the modern situation, and they do their best to make people aware of the impact they do on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, by setting
different
Change preposition
up different
show examples
 forums and meetings. As the market tends to determine how things develop, we can only hope that the demand for the form of responsible tourism
continuous
Replace the word
continues
show examples
 to grow.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!