You have recently visited a local school in your community. It needs people who can help renovate the building and also help with some activities. Write a letter to the principal of the school and say – How would you be able to help? – When and why would you do it? – Who will help you to do it?

Dear Sir, My name is Harwinder Kaur and my younger brother is studying in your school.

Last

week, my friend and I visited the school where I saw an advertisement that management is looking for people who can help them in building renovation and for other activities

also

. Since I am on our college break for 15 days, I would like to help. Actually, I have some experience of painting so I will paint the walls of classrooms.

Besides

, for kids, I will draw some drawings that will help them to remember the shapes and colour names.

In addition

, I will

also

note down some tables so that while playing they will remember

this

. I am excited to start my job

this

weekend because before that I will finish my college endeavour. By doing

this

job I will spend my vacant time being productive.

Further

, I enjoy painting

however

because of study I Ieft

this

hobby and now, I have an opportunity and I could not miss my chance.

Although

I have limited time, my friend will help me with

this

task.

Moreover

, he has incredible knowledge about the quality of colours and I could use his assistance in

this

significant task. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harwinder

Submitted by Harinder on Wed Sep 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

213 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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