Young people are often influenced by others in the same age in their behaviour and situations. This is called "peer group pressure". Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The contribution of overweight
children
Use synonyms
to humans
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is visible to everyone. Nowadays,
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food and watch TV.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and come to a logical conclusion.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, we are living
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
small house with
least
Change preposition
at least
show examples
4
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
apartment. There are narrow
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
and no one enough park for
Use synonyms
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
so that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
don'
t
Use synonyms
whenever go outside
also
Linking Words
if a
child
Use synonyms
hasn'
t
Use synonyms
enough
time
Use synonyms
outside, he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to stay at home and watch
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the television
thus
Linking Words
will eat potato or
cips
Correct your spelling
chips
. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
are behaving to the press who are
children
Use synonyms
about when a
child
Use synonyms
has been
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
during the play
for instance
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
say
Change the verb form
saying
show examples
just
that is
Linking Words
don'
t
Use synonyms
go, don'
t
Use synonyms
make it. I believe that they are preventing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
what
Change preposition
from what
show examples
want to do so that a boy is feeling blocked himself and there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
result to develop eating disorders
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
deal with
this
Linking Words
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the overweight
children
Use synonyms
. I think so the better important cause,
children
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
got very alone in the house because family members are working all
time
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
don'
t
Use synonyms
enough
time
Use synonyms
to the play for their
children
Use synonyms
so
hat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
there
aren'
Change the verb form
aren't shared
show examples
t
Use synonyms
share quality
time
Use synonyms
for them
thus
Linking Words
a
Use synonyms
children
Change the noun form
child
show examples
has got some blockage.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies have proved
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
researchers, that
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
negative impacts between relationship watch tv and
overwight
Correct your spelling
overweight
overnight
on
child
Use synonyms
life. One can postulate that
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
scenario
scenerio
Correct your spelling
scenario
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has to be seen. Whenever we think
overweight
Change preposition
of overweight
show examples
children
Use synonyms
, a mixed feeling surrounds and
Correct your spelling
leaves
leveas
Correct your spelling
leaves
us wondering how the future will be.
However
Linking Words
, change the gen and observe in some problems about
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
also
Linking Words
the generations be different and
children
Use synonyms
can be much more alone in the world.
Submitted by atescagdas826 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: