The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #information

I totally agree with the statement that the

internet

has changed the world significantly. It has

also

various consequences and benefits to using the

internet

Firstly

Due to

the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

, communication is now far better than before. People

also

transformed themselves and

also

upgraded. Communities are using the

internet

for various purposes so that information can be shared. Early 90s people

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

different methods of communication ,

for example

, postcards,

fax

Fix the agreement mistake

faxes

show examples

, letters, etc. Now it is creating problems and various incidents are happening

such

as cybercrime , banking fraud, govt officials' data being leaked. Government should create awareness among the people and stay away from fraud.

Moreover

, the problems associated with the

internet

made an alarming situation for all the communities. Nowadays, teenagers are using the

internet

more and they do not know the purpose of using the

internet

and visiting auspicious sites which will create a bad impact on society.

Due to

this

many problems can arise which will make other children vulnerable.

For example

, nowadays students do auspicious activities in society which makes them vulnerable and creates a bad impression.

Lastly

, the most important thing is for parents they should keep their eye on their children's activities in their daily life

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they should not divert their minds to the unknown things which are not helpful for society as well for them.

To conclude

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

has made the world beautiful in a better way, but the results and outcomes should be beautiful if the usage is done in a proper manner.

Submitted by machtstart on Wed Sep 28 2022

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task response

Task Response: The response does not fully address the prompt and lacks a clear discussion of the problems associated with the internet as well as relevant solutions. The essay should focus more on the specific problems and solutions related to the internet, and provide a deeper analysis of their impacts.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. Better organization, with cohesive linking devices and a more systematic approach to the discussion, is needed. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion should be more explicit and effectively summarize the key points of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cybersecurity
phishing
identity theft
misinformation
fake news
social isolation
internet addiction
data privacy
digital literacy
regulations
awareness programs
manipulate
proliferation
consent
escalated

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The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.

Some people sat that it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and/or weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?