Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

There has been discussion revolving around the issue of whether

museums

are a

place

where

people

get educated or it is an amusing

place

to get entertained. I tend to believe that

exhibition

Correct article usage

the exhibition

show examples

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

should be a

place

of education. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain my opinion. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that

museums

are tourist’s biggest attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

place

For example

people

who come to visit any country tend to stop by the

museums

to be entertained. It is that because places like

this

manage to put exhibitions that are interesting or somehow

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appealing to the customers.

Moreover

, it is a perfect

place

to entertain

children

For example

, it sparks

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

curiosity and

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

them to be excited for school. It is for

the

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

reason that

museums

are predisposed to have exhibitions that keep

children

interested.

In contrast

, some others may claim that

museums

Change noun form

museums'

museum's

show examples

goal is to educate. To start with,

children

or adults who are going to

museums

learn about different cultures,

historical

Correct word choice

and historical

show examples

events and it can develop the perfect mindset for young

people

which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

sympathize or identify with other

people

. Another argument can be made that it allows

people

to find their interests in life through authentic demonstrations that are held in

museums

. Having considered both views I believe that

museums

are beneficial for educational purpose because it helps to find yourself and

Correct your spelling

new

interests which can lead to expanding your mind and worldview later on in life.

Submitted by oimigle on Wed Sep 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

249 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disargree?

Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to GM crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people say history is important subject and other say science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?