IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

It has been observed that
changes
Use synonyms
 are essential to individuals rather than attempting to live everything in the same
way
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making the process of life easier and quicker. The following paragraphs will highlight the upsides and downsides of change, and some relevant examples. First of all,
changes
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 have
been always
Correct word order
always been
show examples
 happening.
People
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 are constantly creating new things to make life more
pratic
Use the right word
practical
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. Many appliances have been developed to
avoid
Verb problem
replace
show examples
 old techniques to clean the house or keep food good for eating
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
wash
Replace the word
washing
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 machines and fridges.
Moreover
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, communication has been improved. Nowadays, individuals can easily get in touch with others who are
a big distance
Rephrase
far away
show examples
,
with
Use the right word
which
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
facilitates a lot of jobs.
For example
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, during the pandemic, many companies needed to shut down for a long time, but with the modern
way
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 of communication, businesses were able to continue. If the change
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 not
made
Verb problem
been made
show examples
, many more
people
Use synonyms
 would be unemployed. For that reason, change is necessary.
However
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,
changes
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 can be hard for some
people
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 who have to deal with other ways of living after many years of doing it in the same
way
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.
For instance
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, an owner of a clothing shop who has had it for a really long time needs to acquire skills in online selling and probably give up the space he/she built years ago.
Furthermore
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, most of the elderly do not reach the
changes
Use synonyms
 in the same
way
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Correct word choice
as youngers
show examples
youngers
Use the right word
younger
show examples
do
Check wording
people do
show examples
.
Hence
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, they have left
aside
Correct pronoun usage
it aside
show examples
. An exemplification of
that is
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, these days, young
people
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 only want to communicate through social media and text messages, but for older
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 it could be difficult. In conclusion, based on my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it is essential that
people
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 follow the
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changes
Punctuation problem
changes,
show examples
 not only to make life easier but
also
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 to survive, even though for some
people
Use synonyms
 it can be hard.

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task response
Begin with a clear line that states your view. Then give two or three points to explain it. End with a short restate of your view.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph move from one idea to the next. Use a simple topic sentence at the start of every paragraph. Use words like first, also, but, so to join ideas.
lexical resource
Use common and easy words. Check that each sentence is short and clear. Fix small mistakes in spelling and form.
content
There is a clear view that change can bring many good things.
content
You use real life examples, like the pandemic, to back up your point.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
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