IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the currency size some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not big new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

#places #homes #space #currency #size #people #countryside
The line graph illustrated the details of fuel
consumption
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the U.S. between 1980 and 2030. It is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel has been
dominant
Correct article usage
the dominant
show examples
 type and will continue
this
 trend into the future. The
consumption
 of nuclear and other renewable energy sources have been represented a small unit but
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 proportion of total energy use and it is projected that they will continue doing so. The graph shows that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Petrol and Oil grab the highest position with 35 quadrillion units in 1980, rising to approximately 40q in 2008 and
this
 trend continues till 2030 with a prominent value of 50q.
Besides
, the
consumption
 of renewable energies like Nuclear, Solar and Hydropower was approximately 3q in 1980 and fluctuated until 2010. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the
consumption
 rate steadily increased and in 2030 that reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8q and 7q for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nuclear and Solar respectively, and the
consumption
 of Hydropower
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly dropped and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant at approximately 4q.
In contrast
, the Coal and Natural Gas
consumption
 was 20q and 16q in 1980 respectively.
However
, Coal overtook Natural Gas in 1990 and after some
fluctuation
Add a comma
,fluctuation
show examples
 over some years it continues increasing and will
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 the
second
 position with approximately 30q
consumption
 in 2030.
On the other hand
, the
consumption
 of natural gas fluctuated between the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1985 and 2015 and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25q, and
this
 trend remain constant until 2030.
Submitted by tofabd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: