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Band 4

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific

#people #schools #purpose
It is argued that
students
 like to have
fun
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of them
Add a missing verb
have seen
show examples
seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 that
school
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is just for
learn
Change the form of the verb
learning
show examples
. I completely disagree with the
second
 opinion and think that
school
 is bigger than just
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
.
First
 of all, I believe that
school
 is
place
Add an article
the place
a place
show examples
 to do a huge number of things not only for education. Even if some
students
 they doing their best to get a high score or whatever their
school
 goal, but they did not focus on their other sides which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
one of them is "joy", these
students
 won't keep
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 like they were used to do, while equality between all our life part every day and every time will make as capable for more long term.
For instance
, a lot of researchers
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
found that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 for a long time without having
break
Add an article
a break
show examples
 like doing something
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 you glad is a horrible idea for our brain. That's
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 need to be more entertaining for
students
 and teachers as well to be
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 environment.
Secondly
,
school
 is our
second
 home, so having
fun
 is important for our mental health.
In other words
, we spend almost 8 hours in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 and if we will say we
are sleep
Change the verb form
sleep
show examples
 for 8 hours that
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 a quarter of our day at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
, so how we can spend 8 hours without some cheerful
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
, my youngest sister
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always
trying
Wrong verb form
tries
show examples
 to have
fun
 as much as she can in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
, but
likewise
 she
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 and focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 her lessons, and because that her GPR it is perfect all
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
Thus
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 the
school
 place
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 and for having
fun
 as the greatest thing for the
students
.
Submitted by rlliizx140 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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