Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem?

Most
children
like to play around more often rather than sitting at their study table and revising subject material. It's perfectly natural for
children
to prefer playing sports over anything else.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
adults
on the other hand
move around and play sports significantly less in comparison to
children
. There are various reasons for
this
and some of them are outlined below.
Firstly
,
time
is an important factor to consider for
adults
. While kids have only school on their hands, grown-ups have multiple activities to juggle and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
barely any free
time
to themselves.
This
is especially the case for parents. The concern over spending
time
with their
children
is
also
another factor to consider for
adults
who are parents. Another reason why
adults
lack physical exercise is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
the older you get, the lazier you become. Studies have shown that teenagers are more likely to have the motivation to
work-out
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
compared to
adults
.
Adults
lack the urge to excessively make themselves tired due to the amount of workload they have during the
day
Correct your spelling
daytime
show examples
time
. Making money would be
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the primary motive of individuals over the age of 20. To solve
this
problem, companies can encourage
adults
to maintain a good work-life balance.
This
could improve
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
concentration levels while on the job as well. Organisations could perhaps reduce the office hours at convenient timings where most gyms are open. Another solution would be the government actively taking part in providing exercise equipment in more regions in a certain area and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
them either free of charge or
charge
Wrong verb form
charging
show examples
people at a reasonable price. According to the World Health Organisation, working out in the gym for a minimum of 30 minutes daily would avoid giving rise to serious health problems while significantly
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
the life expectancy of the average human. All in all, playing sports should be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
by all age groups of people in order to observe good health benefits in one's life.
Submitted by rdbowalgaha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: