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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities
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Over recent years,
students
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student
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 labour somehow became a trend. Technology development pace
in
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apply
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these days
,
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apply
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 leads to teenagers access to many inputs
such
Linking Words
 as knowledge about different skills. According to
this
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, many of them are willing to start learning something that can earn money from it. Some of them are trying to make their little online business. Another group of them participate in workshops or study online resources to achieve
additional
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an additional
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 skill
set
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sets
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.
This
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 is a satisfying reason for parents who are agreed with their
children
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 working. Because they feel good about hard and soft skills that their child learns during part-time work.
On the other hand
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, some
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
children's
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the children's
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 rights activists always emphasize the importance of
teenager's
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teenagers'
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 free time. They believe that kids and teenagers should use their after-school time to play, learn and have fun and each activity that causes to make money from them
,
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apply
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 is a kind of child abuse.
This
Linking Words
opinion
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 is actively trying to protect the health and
Correct your spelling
peace of
peaceof
Correct your spelling
peace of
 childhood According to my own
opinion
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, moderation is
main
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the main
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 standard to decide about every issue.I have the same
opinion
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 regarding
this
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 discussion . As I
am
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apply
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thinking, we should respect our
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children
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children's
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 adolescence and remember that these ages are
golden
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a golden
the golden
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period
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periods
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 of their life to learn, grow and be happy and free.
I'm not actually agree
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I do not actually agree
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 with having a job at these ages, and in my
opinion
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, we can make our
children
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 disciplined, responsible and more strong with some hobbies, games or learning lessons that are not against
to
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apply
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their freedom and happiness; No need to encourage them to work.
Submitted by nazli.akmaly on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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