Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Generally, I agree with
this
statement. Although
prevention always comes first
in all the aspects of health
system, it may not get enough attention. Prevention and education are both important objects in Add an article
the health
a health
this
field which need more attention than the amount each receive
now.
There is a known statement that said, “an apple a day, keeps Change the verb form
receives
doctor
away”. In Add an article
the doctor
this
simple yet profound sentence, we understand the importance and effectiveness of a healthy lifestyle and diet on human’s
Change noun form
human
health
. Nowadays governments around the world are paying deep attention on
economical status, enhancing national funds, and gaining more respect in terms of power and wealth. Yet they almost forget about how treating chronic illnesses may harm the budget and how efficient it is to nurture Change preposition
to
health
educators. For instance
, nurses can play a major role in educating society and preventing diseases as an essential part of the health
system. Indeed, one of the most important rules of a nurse is in patients’
and public Change noun form
patients
health
education. Anyhow, it is necessary to set an attitude of having healthy
lifestyle. It’s included diet, exercise, non-pharmacological ways of stress reduction and Add an article
a healthy
maintain
a calm mind in daily life. I believe if authorities in Wrong verb form
maintaining
health
system start to focus on prevention and Correct article usage
the health
health
education more, treating illnesses especially chronic diseases would take less
Change the quantifier
fewer
efforts
to deal with.
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
Finally
, we can strongly say that we spend way more money on treating illnesses and much less in
educating and training the community. Change preposition
on
Hence
, all the governments around the world should change their policy as soon as possible to make better
and healthier society in both body and mind.Correct article usage
a better
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite