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Band 5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
Some
people
 claim that working in a multinational
organization
 is the best
way
 to develop
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
show examples
 of other
cultures
. I disagree with
this
 view because there are other ways which are more effective yet effortless. On the one hand, I admit that working in a multinational
organization
 allows you to meet and communicate with
people
 from other countries.
For example
, in global companies
such
 as Amazon, staff need to work with those who come from different areas to get a better understanding of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain local
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
. So that they can choose an area-oriented market strategy to promote product sailing.
Also
, employees who work in global organizations may have more opportunities to travel abroad, which means they can get familiar with different
cultures
 by attending local festival activities and experiencing local scenery.
However
, working for a multinational
organization
 is challenging for those who are unable to speak other foreign languages to some extent. I believe that there are other methods to help
people
 understand other
cultures
.
Firstly
, many platforms and apps nowadays provide services for
people
 to find and chat with
people
 who come from other countries. Since the price of a mobile phone is cheap,
this
way
 seemed to be a much easier
way
 to learn about
cultures
 from
people
 compared to working in a global
organization
.
Secondly
, information is easy to get from the Internet. Scrolling through the website or watching documentaries or movies of certain nations is more effective and comprehensive because they contain more knowledge relating to local history and customs that cannot
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
 from communication. In conclusion,
while
 I admit that working in a multinational
organization
 may have
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
to help
Change preposition
of helping
show examples
people
 understand other
cultures
, it is not the best
way
.
Submitted by irengezc on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly connects to your overarching thesis and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical.
coherence cohesion
Provide a succinct and clear introduction that directly addresses the question and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your arguments.
task achievement
Include more developed and specific examples to support your main points and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas to fully address all parts of the task and provide a more thorough explanation of your point of view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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