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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some People Believe that it is the responsibility ifindividual to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believethat government should make sure that their citizen have a healthy diet. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #responsibility #care #health #diet #believethat #government #citizen
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People’s opinion differs as to whether authority
Correct your spelling
is responsible
isresponsible
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is responsible
 for people’s balanced
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 or
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to take care
Change preposition
of his
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own
Correct your spelling
health and
healthand
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health and
 meal. I agree with
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 viewpoint. Those who argue that government need to ensure that
people’shave
Correct your spelling
people have
 a healthy
food
Use synonyms
 have their reason. That regulatory authority needs to
makeregulation
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make regulation
make regulations
 regarding
food
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 because adulteration in
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
a food
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 is
increasingday
Correct your spelling
increasing day
 by day and
this
Linking Words
 will give
rises
Fix the agreement mistake
rise
show examples
 to various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
health
Use synonyms
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 on
largescale
Correct your spelling
large scale
show examples
. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue authority needs to make
a
Remove the article
apply
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new law with strict
punishmentfor
Correct your spelling
punishment for
 the one who defaults. Apart from
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 some think that to maintain public
wellnessis
Correct your spelling
wellness is
wellness
 the moral duty of the government and
Healthy
Correct article usage
a Healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 is necessary for everyone's wellness.
hence
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
Correct article usage
the government
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government
Change noun form
government's
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 responsibility to provide a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I sided with those who feel that its
individualduty
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individual duty
individuality
 to maintain their own
health
Use synonyms
 and
diet
Use synonyms
 because its one’s personal choice
Correct your spelling
what they
whatthey
Correct your spelling
what they
 want to eat.
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
Individual
Add an article
An individual
The individual
show examples
 can take
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own decision
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to eat
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healthy or
healthy
healthyor
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healthy or
 unhealthy stuff.
Selection
Correct article usage
The selection
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 is the basic right of each human on earth.So if they want to have unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 no one can help
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to be fit
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and healthy
healthy
andhealthy
Correct your spelling
and healthy
 person.
For example
Linking Words
,
an
Correct word choice
if an
show examples
 individual eating deep fried
food
Use synonyms
 daily
then
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
government can't
governmentcan’t
Correct article usage
the governmentcan’t
show examples
 help him to be healthy as it contains lots of unhealthy fats. In conclusion, while there are reasons to believe that
Correct your spelling
government needs
governmentneeds
Correct article usage
the governmentneeds
show examples
 to take care of their people’s
health
Use synonyms
 and
diet
Use synonyms
, my own view is that
everyoneneeds
Correct your spelling
everyone needs
 to take care of his own
diet
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 because its
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 right of
Correct your spelling
individual to
individual
Correct article usage
an individualto
show examples
individualto
Correct your spelling
individual to
eat
Change the verb form
eats
show examples
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 of his choice.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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