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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effect is negative. Discuss both sides and give opinion

It became a debatable issue whether sports are beneficial for students or
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 can sabotage their upcoming future. Most people talk ill about the sport when their kid’s education matter came across. But in my opinion, I personally believed that physical play helped children in a positive manner.
To begin
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 with, the positive impacts of
play
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playing
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 games are stress relievers and team play. Youngsters got fed up with continuous studying, so to avoid mental stress body activities act as meditation.The game can shatter the monotonous routine of academic studies to keep the mind away from worries for a while.
For Instance
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, Physical education is an integral part of the syllabus to distract minors from studies for physical and psychological fitness.
In addition
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 to
this
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, sports teach kids the importance of team play and motivate them to move forward without worrying about the result. Albeit of losing any game, they remain composed and admit their loss along with applauding the competitors.
On the Contrary
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, Gaming can distract youth from their academics which can negatively impact their upcoming life. Some offspring shifted their focus to physical activities more than needed. Apart from that, the scion became overconfident and felt superior upon receiving any award.
As a result
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 of
this
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, youngsters neglect hard work.
Moreover
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, some adolescents felt timid when they realised that their participation as a team
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 is not good enough, which can lead to depression. In Conclusion, despite some bad impacts of games, they are necessary tools as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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mental
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
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 for kids to escape tiring stress on the overall body.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • valuable life skills
  • mental focus
  • teamwork and communication
  • time management
  • stress relief
  • neglecting academics
  • intense pressure
  • physical injuries
  • mental stress
  • time commitment
  • fear of failure
  • emotional well-being
  • academic performance
  • balancing sports and academics
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