Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Why it is needed to take tremendous initiatives through spending money on a few particular aspects of the governing authority? It is thought by some individuals that money is wasted by the government on arts and it should be better utilized. I agree
with for
Change preposition
that
show examples
many critical issues are issues that are required to be addressed. In my opinion, one is poverty and the other is the lack of infrastructure in healthcare.
Firstly
, among various kinds of facts, the concentration of poverty in the province is a big concern because it directly affects the economic growth of the nation and is caused by the sheer unemployment in the country and the absence of adequate facilities required for nurturing the people of a nation.
For example
, about 29% of the country's population is poor and deprived of basic amenities.
This
is the fact that the government should take some significant measures for the several communities so that they at least get all the essentials, through these ways, folks' basic needs will be fulfilled.
Therefore
, money needs to be heavily funded in
this
direction.
Secondly
, the inadequate infrastructure in the field of healthcare
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
hit the nation hard as several diseases like
Covid19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
, cancer, and other vulnerable infections are not
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easily cured.
This
is all because of the lack of certain elements like hospitals, staff working them, and efficient technology for treatment.
Moreover
,
for instance
,
according to
a statistical survey,33% of the people could not recover from
covid19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
and died because they were not admitted to the hospital because of the inability of beds for patients.
Hence
, a bunch of thoughtful steps should be taken by our governing body to enhance the aforementioned facilities. To summarize, I opine,
instead
Correct word choice
that instead
show examples
of spending on artistic works, if the ruling class expenses their finance to alleviate the impoverishment and medication sides, it would
be created
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
a pace to complete the public basic
necessity
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
show examples
;
resulting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
propensity can uplift the health of the country as a whole and develop the lives who live below the poverty line.
Submitted by mosumi431985 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and that ideas are organized in a clear and consistent manner.
task achievement
Focus on addressing the specific task given in the prompt by clearly presenting and supporting your ideas. Make sure your examples are relevant and directly related to the points you are making.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: