IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#people #country #benefit #percentage #universities #unemployment #rate #viewpoints
In
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
show examples
 society, some individuals believe that a country will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
much benefit
Change the quantifier
many benefits
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the high number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people who are going to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university.
This
 essay will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 of
this
 argument before my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
conclusion was reached. In
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
show examples
 society, some individuals believe that a country will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
much benefit
Change the quantifier
many benefits
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the high number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people who are going to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university.
This
 essay will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 of
this
 argument before my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
conclusion was reached. In
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
show examples
 society, some individuals believe that a country will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
much benefit
Change the quantifier
many benefits
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the high number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people who are going to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university.
This
 essay will discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 of
this
 argument before my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in conclusion,
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
conclusion was reached.
Submitted by chai601x04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • competitive edge
  • underemployment
  • oversaturation
  • mismatch
  • skills
  • critical thinking
  • civic engagement
  • personal development
  • societal well-being
  • significant
  • student debt
  • financial implications
  • deter
  • vocational training
  • continuous learning
  • workforce
  • adaptable
  • relevant skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: